Creating expectations for how things should happen may be sabotaging your sales process. 

In order to protect yourself, you try to limit surprises. You take your future - a 100% unknowable part of your life - and cling to your expectations. Sometimes you may realize you’re doing this, but most of the time you probably don’t even notice it happening.

Here me out…

You want the sale to happen on a certain timeline so you can earn more commission this month. You end up pushing your own agenda, creating a sense of urgency, and ultimately creating anxiety throughout the process that really doesn't need to be there. 

You want the prospect’s commitment to be a certain size or amount. You’re not listening to what their problems actually are, what they really need, and what they can realistically afford. You’ve pigeon-holed them into a solution in your mind before you actually know what their problem is.

You expect you already know what their problems are, because you’ve seen it in other prospects in the past. You assume their pain is a priority. In reality, maybe they don’t think your solution is as important to their business as you think it is. 

The problem in these scenarios? You’re creating an expectation for how things should happen and not allowing your experiences to unfold in their natural rhythm. Your tunnel vision on your own expectations is causing you to miss the truth.

The reality is that these shoulds that exist in our mind are nothing more than us projecting our past into our future. 

Not only does this keep you from embracing the unknown and taking action, but it also keeps you stuck by creating “problems” that don’t actually exist. 

Once your expectations and reality begin to conflict, you engage in a tug of war with yourself and others. You may try to shape reality to fit into your predetermined box, and when you can’t, you look for something or someone else to blame.

But the “art” to sales, communication, and relationships begins with the ability to refuse to participate in this internal “tug of war.” 

Drop the rope.

Control the things you can control and have the humility to recognize what you can’t.

Don’t allow your mind to stay stuck on how something was supposed to happen or how your prospect should behave.

These are stories made up in your mind. It’s okay - you are human. We’ve all been there! If you find yourself in this game of “tug of war”...

Get curious. Embrace the unknown. Give people and situations the benefit of the doubt.

And watch yourself become more present and more intentional in your life and business.