Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda #6 with Rush
Feb 13, 2025
Who’s On Top? And is that person winning?
Over the years I’ve heard about the “Buyers” who, in the Suspect stage (meaning the Seller has not, yet filled any DICE Panels…no pain) is very demanding and controlling. “Just give me a range of your pricing!”, “Send me something!”, “What makes you so sure you can help me!”
It really seems as though the Buyer is attempting to put you in your place, to be on top and, in fact, they are trying to take control by putting you in your place. By making you feel Not OK!
So... I was listening to my Demi Lovato Playlist this morning and ran across this song ("It's OK to be Not OK" with Marshmello) that really resonated with my thoughts about horizontal and vertical positioning (TA) in the sales process!
Too often the sales amateur creates a view of "positioning" by framing from the old and outdated acronym PMA (Thanks Norm [Norman Vincent Peale], but the power of positive thinking might not get us there, today!)
Not only does our Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) seem to position us "above" our counterpart, but it also presents an arrogance "Yeah! I'm OK, and you're not!" How do you think they feel? Don’t you imagine your positivism might make them feel a little Not OK, and shut down honest dialogue and inhibits vulnerability?
Let's try a different approach. Let's allow our counterparts to see our vulnerability as an opportunity for them to be positioned above us. Our “Not Ok-ness allows that "helping hand" to help elevate us. By doing that, the feeling they earn is one of OK-ness, much the way we feel when we put a handful of change in the cup of one less fortunate. Don't we feel good?
In our SAYA system of selling, and the mindset power behind it, we encourage you to avoid sharing your great wisdom about your products and services, use opportunities to be modest, even self-deprecating to help someone else elevate their position.
Power and elevation vocabulary:
- Help me.
- I have a problem.
- I don't know...
- When I hear you say ______, I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean.
The vocabulary in action:
Them: “Just give me a range of your pricing!”
You: “Happy to! To do that, would you help me? Could I ask you a couple of questions?”
Them: “Send me something!”
You: “Good idea. But I have a problem! I have lots of stuff I could send. Should I send it all?”
Them: “What makes you so sure you can help me!”
You: “Wow! I don’t know that I can. Could I ask you some questions before I answer?”
Them: “I’ve heard you guys are really expensive.”
You: “When I hear you say ______, I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean. Could I ask…?”
Be more by being less; be above by being below!
The following are not rhetorical questions! Send me your thoughts at [email protected].
- In the last week or so have you experienced a situation where your vulnerability gave someone space to elevate themselves?
- Where have you seen situations where your PMA might have caused more difficulty for you?